Thank you to our College community for supporting Jeans for Genes Day!
Funds raised from today’s denim fashion statement will boost the efforts of the Children's Medical Research Institute as they seek to find cures and new treatments for conditions affecting children, including genetic diseases, cancer, and epilepsy.
Moving forward from my previous newsletter article which focussed on the power of play and how children are ‘wired to play’ I now delve into the mysteries of adolescence and the challenging and also rewarding age of thirteen. It is not always when they are thirteen, although as parents we will all face this with our children to varying degrees between Year 6 and 8, in particular. My own family is deeply entrenched in the ‘lucky thirteen’ space at the moment!
Michael Grose the founder of Parenting Ideas and author of over 10 books on parenting, identifies the age of thirteen as crucial for heightened awareness by parents as they navigate this pivotal time. Grose describes thirteen as a time of rebirth from child to teen and stipulates that they will need a great deal of support and confident, firm parenting. What does firm parenting actually look like at this delicate stage? Your newly emerging teenager will need a mixture of understanding, guidance, boundaries and nurturing by their parent/s as they make their way through this rather tumultuous time. Just like when they were infants, the young teen will need the reassurance that you will be there for them and that most importantly, that they can depend on your support when it is needed.
Grose identifies ten strategies that parents should consider at this important developmental stage.
Watch for the Swings
At a time of enormous change physically, socially and emotionally, controlling emotions and behaviour consistently is very difficult. At one moment there will be enormous periods of dependence upon their parents followed by surprising capability and independence. For a parent, these swings can be confusing and unpredictable as your child moves from telling you that they don’t need to be reminded about packing their PE uniform to the next moment where the child is criticising you for not showing enough interest in their friends or what they do. Try to stay out of arguments and be there to support them.
The Two Faces They Wear
At the age of thirteen, many children still fluctuate between still being a child and being a teenager. Behaviour such as still playing with some of their childhood toys are then starkly contrasted with experimental behaviour with cigarettes, truancy and socialising with older children.
Many Live in the Now
At this age with rapid changes occurring, many adolescents have the childlike tendency to live and think in the now. Consequently, short-term challenges and difficulties seem overwhelmingly permanent and only the worst possible consequences are thought of. Look to break down what seems to be an insurmountable task into smaller more manageable pieces.
Girls can Regress More than Boys
Grose describes the growth of the thirteen-year-old brain as rebuilding itself and being rewired. This in some way explains why new teens become baby-like, moody and disorganised. At one moment they want to be closer to you than they have for some time; and then at another time they seem argumentative and more difficult than in the past. Enjoy the opportunity to be close to your child as this may not last.
Boys Challenge Their Mothers
At this age there is a change in the relationship between many boys and their mothers. The need to stand alone and not simply comply in the manner they have, is all part of the process. Some mothers will experience a challenge to their authority, but Grose advises us to take a firm stance and accept no nonsense, whilst being kind and nurturing at the same time.
Be Prepared to be the Bad Guy
Whilst thirteen can be the beginning age where risk-taking behaviour increases, there is a need for firm boundaries to be set to ensure their safety. At times you will be criticised for not allowing the same sorts of liberties that their friends’ parents allow. It is perfectly acceptable to be the bad guy, when it means that your child is safe. Yes, it is a Sherlock Holmes approach, but it will be worth it!
They’re Very Sensitive to Criticism
Providing advice and feedback to a thirteen-year-old can be very difficult. As the child attempts to come to terms with their heightened emotions, any advice or feedback can be deemed as criticism and a personal attack. In order to help a teen, determine whether criticism is real or perceived, it can be helpful to remind them to think with a little more objectivity.
Make Sure You Spend Time Together
One-on-one time, and family time are important buffers against the anxiety and uncertainty that faces our emerging teens. This can also be a time where independence from certain rituals may be acceptable but the largest non-negotiable according to Grose, is the sharing of family meals.
He points out that “there is a high correlation between good teenage mental health and those who share at least six mealtimes with their family each week.”
Encourage Their Maturity
Positive reinforcement is an excellent motivator and as humans we all crave it. By rewarding positive behaviour with positive reinforcement and encouragement, it provides a guideline towards the direction you want them to head in.
Getting the Parenting Mix Right
Grose stipulates here that “You need to know when and where to be the good cop and the firm cop.” In doing so you should also expect to experience some backlash and endure some temper tantrums that are synonymous with early adolescence.
Like every age level, your children only turn thirteen once. Many parents cringe at the thought of the drama and the uncertainty that surrounds the transition from child to teenager. We should all embrace this fascinating, dramatic and important year.
They will only be thirteen once!
Simon Edgar Head of Junior School
A.B. Paterson College is proud to report that, in 2020, we have two representatives in Queensland Youth Parliament – Year 11 students, Jodie Down and Angelina Inthavong – an extraordinary achievement!
Here, both students reflect upon their recent meetings with state and federal representatives in our region. Jodie and Angelina would like to encourage all students to consider applying for Youth Parliament in future years.
This year I am very fortunate to serve a second year in the Queensland Youth Parliament as the Youth Member for Warrego, so I recently met with Stuart Robert, MP for Fadden, the Federal electorate our College resides in, to discuss pertinent issues facing our local and wider community.
As an editor of our College student newspaper, The Brumby Bulletin, I wanted to interview Mr Robert to gain his insight into the role of A.B. Paterson College students in helping the Gold Coast and Australia prosper, to then share his invaluable advice with the student body. One of the highlights of the experience was Mr Robert’s response to my question on the importance to our nation of students embodying our College Motto, Excellence, Care and Commitment:
“[they are] all good aspirations. Commitment is in short supply… [but] we need stability and certainty… [especially] in the shadow of a health crisis. [For this we] require hard work and delayed gratification…[but] we can’t have robots; society doesn’t care if society doesn’t know how much you care.”
I am extremely grateful to Mr Roberts for giving up time in his busy schedule to consult with me. More of Mr Robert’s guidance will be available to students in the next edition of The Brumby Bulletin.
Jodie Down, Year 11 – Youth Member for Warrego
Two weeks ago, I had the incredible opportunity to chat over coffee with the State Opposition Leader, Deb Frecklington, State Member for Bonney, Sam O’Connor and Youth Member for Theodore, Jordan Engel.
I was ecstatic in the face of an opportunity to voice my opinions on real issues and gain insight from one of the most senior politicians in the state. At 9am, we met at Chirn Park Café, Ground N Sound, within my electorate of Bonney. To be honest, when I first met Mrs Frecklington, it was odd not shaking hands. COVID-19 has certainly changed the way many businesses function. For a while, we chatted with the owners about how COVID-19 had impacted them and the immense importance of supporting small local businesses during this tough time.
As soon as we sat down, Mrs Frecklington asked Jordan and I why we signed up to represent our electorates in Youth Parliament. For myself, it was the potential to speak to the leaders of our state and better voice the needs and issues facing younger generations, which are – in my opinion – sometimes neglected. We then chatted about the exciting prospects of the youth bills we were creating in our committees.
Jordan talked about the Legal Affairs and Community Safety Bill he was helping to write to reform the criminal justice system, whilst I spoke about the Health and Disability Services Bill covering the establishment of a Queensland Disability Advisory Council, disability awareness education and inclusive relationships and sexuality education.
We then spoke about the main issues facing our generation – with COVID-19, a strong feature – from opportunities for entering university and employment to mental health and period poverty (lack of access to feminine hygiene products often associated with homelessness and poverty).
I then asked Mrs Frecklington about her experiences with politics and how she came to pursue this career. It was amazing to learn from such a strong woman and mother. From our chat, I gained a newfound respect and admiration for women in politics who are breaking through glass ceilings and encouraging and inspiring other young women to follow in their footsteps.
One thing she said that I took away was, “if you find yourself doing something you don’t love then leave and find something that you do love… I didn’t come from a very influential family – we were very middle-class workers – so, if someone had told my parents and I, at your age, that I was going to become the Leader of the Opposition when I grew up, we would have just laughed.”
I feel that Queensland Opposition Leader, Deb Frecklington is proof that, with passion, courage, determination and kindness, anything can be achieved. Therefore, according to her words, “we shouldn’t ever limit ourselves”.
As our meeting came to an end, I thanked them all so much for this once in a lifetime opportunity and wished both Mrs Frecklington and Mr O’Connor the best of luck with their jam-packed day ahead. We don’t often get to see the countless hours our MPs spend trying to hear everyone’s opinions so that they can best represent the needs of their constituents and try to forge a better future for our great state. At times we also forget the initiative and insight our younger generations have, but Youth Parliament has helped give youth a voice, make connections and develop a greater sense of what it means to be a leader and for this, I am forever grateful. Having met some of our state’s current and potential future leaders, I think it is safe to say that the future of Queensland rests in good hands.
Finally, a reminder that our state's election is in October, so please exercise your democratic right by voting and have your voice heard. Stay informed and, most of all, stay safe!
Angelina Inthavong, Year 11 – Youth Member for Bonney
The Homestead Library ran a Book Bingo challenge throughout Terms 1 and 2.
We are happy to announce our Book Bingo winner is Yesha Dhingra of Year 7.
Congratulations Yesha, and well done on reading so many different genres!
Melinda Parkinson - Junior School Teacher/Librarian
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Jeanette Maxwell - Head of Pathways
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